What’s In It For Me?

My transition back into the Department of Education has been, well, a little rough.

There could be many variables that have caused me to feel this way. One aspect of this job that I am learning and growing in is the age group. I have worked previously in two high schools and a middle school. Now in Elementary school, I am having to discover new strategies.

When I arrived, the previous Behavioral health Specialist had a store in place. Students could earn tokens to purchase items in the store. They earned tokens by achieving expected behavior. This is not a new concept for me. I have heard about this system used in homes and in schools all round the country for behavior modification. The reasoning is that incentives will give children/youth something to work toward so they will learn to modify their behavior to obtain the reward. This is a very common strategy used by behavioralist of various fields.

I’m not completely against this. I see how it is effective in some situations. The field of autism seems to have benefited greatly from the practice of token systems. Behavior modification has proved successful in this setting. In life in general there are some incentives that people work toward. In the restaurant business servers will put in the extra effort in expectation of a higher tip. Interestingly, when I worked at Alan Wong’s Restaurant tips were pooled. For many that was not a desirable system. No matter how hard you worked, you received a set percentage of all the tips collected. Some might expect that would cause servers to work less. Instead, the effect it had on the community of workers, was accountability. Co-workers will get on another worker that was not “pulling their weight” in the community.

An article that I came across highlighted the dangers of reward systems. It’s one opinion of many, but worth considering. The author suggests. “Priming kids to expect rewards for good behavior can harm their social skills in the long term.” The theory suggests that rewarding core social behaviors (responsibility, courtesy, respect) will build a mindset that will always leave them asking, “what’s in it for me?”

While I am not completely against reward and incentive systems, I believe we need to consider how it is implemented and what we might be teaching our youth. Something we are trying for our kids is to have them complete set chores with no payment, but just as a functioning member of our family. Once those are done, there may be other tasks that they can get paid for, but not until their set chores are complete. There are things you just have to do. Responsibility. On top of that, there can be incentive if you choose to put in the extra effort.

There is a shift in our society. There is a word that I hear floated around in many circles, “entitled”. With the practice of a reward for everything and for everything a reward, we can tend to produce entitled adults. Doing things just because it is the right thing to do becomes an exception. We are inspired by acts of kindness, because it is increasingly rare. Social norms are lost as we ask ourselves, “What’s in it for me?” -jason

Advertisements

Good Things Up Ahead

My morning commute is pretty amazing. At the edge of Hawaii Kai I pull up to the Kaiwi Coastline. The early morning sun rises through the scattered clouds and makes them glow. Waves playfully crash upon the sandy shores. As I make my way around the hill near Makapu’u I descend upon breathtaking scenery. A couple tiny islands are scattered across the glittery ocean. The Eastern shoreline makes a sharp transition up the majestic slopes of the Ko’olau Mountains. Occasionally a rainbow dives off the sheer cliff’s into the ocean below. God’s beauty is overwhelming.

The awesome scenery continues along the shorelines of Waimanalo, but you can’t take your eyes of the road for too long, because you never know when you’ll need to stop. Anyone who has made the commute through Waimanalo knows exactly what I am talking about. One road in and one road out. If there is anything that stops the traffic, your commute gets set back a little. Many things could cause a stop in traffic, but commonly I’ve noticed cars stop to let other cars turn in from the side roads or parking lots. It’s an expression of ALOHA that I noticed in a unique way in Waimanalo. While drivers can have a lot of ALOHA in Hawaii, drivers in Waimanalo seem to be on the look out for people trying to turn and make an intentional effort to stop.

It may set me back 5-10 minutes, depending on the day, but I’m okay with it. If positive gestures of kindness and ALOHA require a little extra time, it’s worth it.

I don’t always know what is causing the back up and traffic, but knowing that these acts of kindness are common here, it’s given me a better perspective. It’s helped me to be a little more patient.

Perhaps you are stuck in traffic. I’m not just talking about sitting in your car. Maybe you are waiting on a job. You could be close to retirement. It might be a child that is not quite at the place you were hoping they’d be. Your plans could be delayed for one reason or another. You are in a place that you don’t really want to be, you really would like to be a few more miles ahead. It’s frustrating.

Remember that there might be good things happening ahead. Isn’t it worth it to wait if your expectation is that there are good things happening ahead? We don’t know sometimes, but if we put our hope in positive things, it makes the wait more tolerable. 

As a Christian I know there are good things ahead. I don’t really know what it looks like, but I know I’ve experienced the glory of God in my life and it will be so much greater later. So I wait, in traffic, but I wait in patience. Romans 8:25 says: “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

On a smaller scale, there are good things happening all the time. We may not see them, but they are happening. There are gestures of kindness and ALOHA along the road and sometimes it’s necessary that traffic gets backed up a little. Be patient. Believe that there are good things up ahead. -jason